Repeat Back What You Heard Using Your Own Words
Taking part in conversations at work can sometimes be a bit complicated, but I've developed a habit that I find helpful, even though sometimes I feel kind of stupid doing it.
Whenever I'm part of a discussion at work, I focus first on just listening to what people are saying. Conversations jump around a lot and some people talk really fast. I tend to process things more slowly, so I focus on listening and try to hone in on the key points of what's being talked about.
Then, once I've found the right space in the conversation, I give a summary of the most important points in my own words.
I find this helpful for a few reasons:
It shows that I'm listening.
I tend not to talk a lot, but being able to give a summary of the discussion shows very clearly that I'm still engaged and paying attention. It's also a lot more meaningful than only nodding or saying 'mmhmm'.
It helps me see if I'm understanding what everyone's talking about.
If there's a mistake in my summary or if I missed something, it gives someone a chance to help me by correcting it. Or if have it right, then I get confirmation.
It helps make sure everyone is on the same page.
It's very easy for two people to walk away from a discussion with very different ideas about what was discussed or decided upon. Taking the time to highlight and summarize the basic points can help make sure everyone's understanding is the same.
It brings the discussion back to the key points.
Work conversations can veer off on tangents or personal anecdotes that don't really have anything to do with the topic at hand. This isn't always a bad thing necessarily, but it's helpful to have a way to nudge things back on track so you're not talking in circles for an hour.
It helps me learn.
Summarizing something in your own words is one of the best ways to demonstrate your understanding. Challenging yourself to do it often is a good way to help make sure you're really learning and not just passively listening. (Writing summaries is also a big part of what I do with the history book reading list I'm working on.)
It gives me something to say.
This one's partly a joke, but it's also partly serious. My default is to not say a whole lot. I don't know why. But it's nice to be able to contribute things and be a part of the conversation in a meaningful way, again, even if it's just to show that you're listening.
I do feel a bit stupid doing this sometimes, but that's okay. Basically I'm trying to dumb things down to make it easier to understand, but, for the reasons I've pointed out, I think that can be a really helpful thing to do. And I'm okay to look a bit stupid if it ends up with me being more sure that I know what's going on.